So many of us who are depressed think about harming ourselves–by cutting, burning or even killing ourselves. But often, a small voice inside saves us from doing it. When my crash came, I said to myself, “I want to live before I die.” But living came hard for me. To live, I needed to stay conscious of what was happening to me, keep events in ‘big picture’ context, stay in my zone of discomfort so I would grow, and focus on spiritual connections. Though I no longer have images of self-harm, I still work on these things to keep myself from returning to that place.
Archive for depression
Self-harm
Posted in depression, recovery with tags burning, cutting, depression, recovery, self-harm, suicide on March 2, 2008 by Norman ReidDreams and Desires
Posted in depression, recovery with tags confidence, courage, depression, desires, dreams, inspiration, longing, mental health, strength on February 29, 2008 by Norman ReidOur longings and our dreams inspire us to reach beyond our present resting place. But often, we lack the confidence to follow our dreams and achieve what is possible for us. The guidance of our desires is true and when we accept the inspiration they offer, we will find the strength to follow them. I resolve to be attentive to my dreams and to invite the courage I need to pursue them.
Self-love
Posted in depression, recovery with tags depression, love, mental health, patience, self-love on February 26, 2008 by Norman ReidThose of us with depression have neglected the health of our inner lives. Through self-abuse and shaming, we have come to suppress our spirits. Our dissatisfaction with ourselves pervades our lives. But we can learn to love ourselves and realize the value that inheres in our very being. I commit to make the effort and show the patience needed to rebuild my spirit.
Self-worth
Posted in depression, recovery with tags depression, mental health, security, self-esteem, self-worth on February 24, 2008 by Norman ReidAs persons with low self-esteem, those of us with depression invite others to treat us badly. And we often let their treatment deepen our depression. But no ill treatment, no outside circumstance need depress us. For no condition outside of us can ever offer the security or happiness we long for. They may uplift us momentarily but they can’t provide a permanent enhancement. Only we can provide that for ourselves. I will look inside for my self-worth and security, for I know that only I can give them to myself.
Depression
Posted in depression, recovery with tags covert depression, depression, major depression, male depression, mental health, overt depression on February 23, 2008 by Norman ReidI did not expect to experience depression, both the overt major depression of the last decade or the covert depression that preceded it. The overt depression–after my crash–saved my life from a continuation of the hell of living an unhappy life while covertly depressed. It was a hard way to do it, but it gave me back my life.
Victimhood
Posted in depression, recovery with tags depression, injustice, mental health, responsibility, victim, victimhood on February 22, 2008 by Norman ReidAs depressed persons, we know the role of the victim. We’ve been hurt by life’s many injustices and we’ve waited passively for things to change. Maybe we drank or drugged to hide our pain. But whether or not we acknowledge it, we have been active participants in our own victimhood. We have a choice–to live lives of responsibility or to remain stuck in victimhood. I choose to accept what life has given me and to take full responsibility for my attitudes and my actions.
Acceptance
Posted in depression, recovery with tags acceptance, control, depression, mental health, outcomes, peace, serenity on February 21, 2008 by Norman ReidIn my depression, I found it hard to be accepting and I tried to control circumstances to manage their outcomes. But each day, I am learning to trust the wisdom of the universe and to accept myself a little more, just as I am. This acceptance leads me toward greater serenity.
Egocentrism
Posted in depression, recovery with tags depression, egocentrism, mental health, opinions, self-centered, value, worth on February 20, 2008 by Norman ReidLike most people, self-centeredness and egocentrism have governed much of my life. I have judged others by how their lives affect mine and weighed their worth, and mine, accordingly. But the world does not revolve around me. And the opinions of others do not determine my worth. I will look to my own soul for my value and to their hearts to value others.
The Past
Posted in depression, recovery with tags depression, mental health, now, past, today, yesterday on February 19, 2008 by Norman ReidLike most depressed persons, I was focused on the mistakes and pains of the past, wishing things could have been different for me. But yesterday is past and gone. I can no longer do anything about past regrets and the shame that accompanies them. Nor should I. What I have–all that I truly have–is today. I resolve to take full advantage of today and enjoy it.
Fear
Posted in depression, recovery with tags depression, emotions, fear, feelings, mental health on February 18, 2008 by Norman ReidI create problems for myself by thinking I must be better than I am. Sometimes the fear that I am small takes hold of me and causes me to withdraw from action. But the truth is, I am good enough just as I am. I resolve to recognize who I am and not to focus on who I am not.
Out of Darkness 