Pain Behind the Mask

I picked up a new book on depression the other day and just finished the first chapter.  The title is The Pain Behind the Mask: Overcoming Masculine Depression by John Lynch and Christopher Kilmartin.  The thesis of the book is that male depression is very often different from “classical” depression, which most frequently characterizes depressed women.  While “classical” depression is experienced as deep sadness, with crying, sleeplessness, worrying, moping and self-blaming, male depression tends to be covert, hidden behind a mask of extreme responsibility such as workaholism or acted out through substance abuse, sexual addiction, violence or risky behaviors.  The authors argue that although depression is diagnosed twice as often in women as in men, the fact that much male depression is hidden makes it greatly underdiagnosed and underrecognized.

 The authors argue that male depression has two components.  The first is dissociation from feelings.  Men are raised to suppress and hide their feelings, even from themselves, and many do an admirable job of this.  The second is engaging in behaviors that are destructive to self and others with whom men are in relationship–spouses, partners, children, co-workers.

Unlike some other books on male depression that I have read, this book is carefully prepared, thoughtful and reasoned.  I am enjoying reading it because I like intelligent books and because it is giving me new information about depression–particularly male depression.

Why am I reading it?  Two reasons.  First, I suffered a depressive “crash” about ten years ago and have been in active recovery since that time.  A part of my program for recovery has been to read practically everything I could get my hands on that would help me understand my condition and what I can do about it. 

Second, at the encouragement of my therapists, I have decided to write a book about my experience with depression.  I want to cast it in the context of male depression generally, because my depression looked like male depression often does until I had a breakdown.  It turns out, there are not many books out there about male depression, which is greatly misunderstood and, as I said, underdiagnosed and underrecognized.  So, I am hoping there will be a good market for my book.  I’ll have a lot more to say about male depression and about my book in the future.

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